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| TOP TEN LIKELY RESPONSES TO THE GATES PIE INCIDENT It's not every day that the world's richest man gets a pie in the face. And we would be remiss if we let the Belgian pie incident go by without a top ten list in its honor. So herewith, the top ten likely Microsoft responses to Gates' pie in the face: 10. Microsoft announces that Robert Lessig's fingerprints were found on the pie plate. 9. Company plans 1999 release of "Visual Pie++ for Windows." 8. Microsoft waffles on release of Belgian version of Windows 98. 7. Hostess fruit pies removed from Microsoft campus vending machines (three days later, a hoard of pies is found in Nathan Myhrvold's office). 6. Bill Gates has pie-proof "Popemobile" built for future public appearances. 5. From now on, all new Microsoft CD-ROMs will be square, because Gates "freaks out" when he sees flat circles. 4. New Microsoft game released: X-Wing vs. Pie Fighter. 3. Microsoft buys Mrs. Smiths Frozen Pie Company--and shuts it down. 2. MS programmers no longer allowed to use value of pi when programming vector-drawing algorithms. 1. After a lengthy investigation, Microsoft reluctantly admits that the pie incident was staged by Wagner-Edstrom to divert public attention from the DOJ hearings. |
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