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| MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church In a shock announcement the Turing family has declared an end to the public domain status of the "bit"[tm], in future all "bits"[tm] transmitted stored or used in any computer systems must pay an annual royality to the holders of the "bit"[tm] patent. The Turing family lawyer declared that $0.01 per year royality for each "bit"[tm] was quite reasonable and would only be applied from December 25th 1980, giving computer users and developers at least 30 years of free "bit"[tm] usage. In another shock announcement the Turing family have declared a joint partnership with IBM who are supplying the money for the legal fees needed to fight the coming battles, and declared they would only licence IBM computer systems to use the "bit"[tm] system. IBM have also declared they will also be changing all their computers back to the "EBCDIC"[tm] system to avoid the shock "ASCII"[tm] royality fee announcement by Microsoft last month. One large "bit"[tm] user, Compuserve, have claimed the decision to retract the public domain status of the "bit"[tm] was completely unfair and said that this, along with the "ASCII"[tm] tax, was draining their shareholders profits from the recent retraction of the "GIF"[tm] public domain status. "bits"[tm] should be free for all to use, the directors declared from the carboard boxes they have been forced to live in after there mansions were repossessed by the "ASCII"[tm] police. Intel have been chosen to develop the "bit"[tm] calculation systems needed to work out the amount owed by fast CPU developers in which the "bits"[tm] only exist for billionths of seconds. Unisys, declared they were due large amounts of money from all computer users because everyone had been using fewer bits due to their "LZW"[tm] compaction technique, the Turing family are now suing Unisys for cheating them of due royalties and the Hertz familty have declared they invented the look and feel of the "bit"[tm] so will be suing the Turing family. |
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