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| Anyone who has ever done something with support (direct or indirect) will undoubtedly agree: users can be nerve wrecking. However in the long run afterwards they provide most fun as the following list will demonstrate... A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine." Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?" Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?" Tech Support: "Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob." Customer: "I'm not going to do that!" Overheard in a computer shop: Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?" I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it. Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?" I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this: Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?" Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to "The Internet." Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Yeah." Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?" Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah." Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon." Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because of the icons- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.don't believe it was meant to-" Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons." Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?" Customer: [click] Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't work." Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship. Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?" |
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