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| SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING MEMO In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We are trying to give employees more SHIT than anyone else. If you don't feel that you are receiving your share of SHIT on the job, please see your manager immediately. You will be put at the top of the SHIT list ASAP, and our manager is especially skilled at seeing that you take all the SHIT that you can handle. Since our manager has take SHIT before he was promoted, he does not have to take SHIT anymore, and is full of SHIT already. Employees who don't take any SHIT will be placed in a Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (DEEPSHIT). Those who fail to take DEEPSHIT seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (EATSHIT). If you are full of SHIT, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (BULLSHIT). Those who are full of BULLSHIT will get the SHIT jobs and can apply for a promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (DIPSHIT). If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training (HOTSHIT). Thank you, Boss In General (BIGSHIT) |
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