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| Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: WARNING:consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING:consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember) WARNING:consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named FRANZ. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING:consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING:Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. WARNING:Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. |
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