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| THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER: 8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses. 8:30 Weigh in 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday. 8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants. 9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil. 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer. 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb-out. 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe. 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30 pounds. 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit. 15:00 Nap. 16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer. 16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage. 17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before mirror. 19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing. 22:00 Hot shower (alone). 22:30 Make love. 23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling. 23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms. THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM: 6:00 Alarm. 6:15 Blowjob. 6:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today. 7:00 Breakfast, filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee. 7:30 Limo arrives. 7:45 Stoli bloody Mary en route to airport. 8:15 Private jet to Augusta, GA. 9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club. 9:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under). 11:45 Lunch 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens. 12:15 Blowjob. 12:30 Back nine at Augusta (4 under). 14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay Martini). 14:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap). 15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew. 16:30 Land World record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs). 17:00 Jet back and get massage & hand job en route by naked Kathy Ireland. 18:45 Shit, shower and shave. 19:00 Watch CNN news flash: Clinton resigns - Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video released and authenticated. 19:30 Dinner, lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963) 20 oz. New York steak 21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar. 21:30 Sex with three women. 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi. 23:45 Bed (alone). 23:50 12 second, 4 octave fart -- dog leaves room. 23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep. |
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