|
 |
|
 |
||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||
| Actual Bumper Stickers!! * The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette. * If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast. * I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. * If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. * Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten. * We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. * Jesus is coming, everyone look busy. * Born free... taxed to death. * The more people I meet, the more I like my dog. * Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. * A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. * Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. * Horn broken, watch for finger. * All men are idiots ... I married their king. * The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. * My kid had sex with your honor student. * If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished. * Help wanted: telepath. You know where to apply. * Work is for people who don't know how to fish. * I.R.S. We've got what it takes to take what you've got. * Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now. * Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole. * Life's a buffet... so eat me! * I'm just driving this way to piss you off. * Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth. * Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. * Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. * Keep honking, I'm reloading. * Cover me. I'm changing lanes. * Prevent inbreeding: ban country music. * As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. * Spotted owl tastes just like chicken. * Hang up and drive. * Happiness is a belt-fed weapon. * Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. * Snatch a kiss, or vice versa. * I don't have to be dead to donate my organ. * WARNING! Driver only carries $20 in ammunition * Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. * I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. * Tow-ers will be violated. * Montana -- At least our cows are sane! * Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. * Lord save me from your followers. * Meat is yummy! * Mean people rule! * Guns don't kill people, postal workers do. * Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. * Born again pagan. * God must love stupid people, he made so many. * I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen. * The gene pool could use a little chlorine. * I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. * Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT! * My kid beat up your honor student! * Save a mouse... Eat pussy! * P.E.T.A. people eating tasty animals * Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. * It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. * When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS. * Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. * Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. * Wink, I'll do the rest! * Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down. * I took an IQ test and the results were negative. * When there's a will, I want to be in it! * Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? * I love animals...they're delicious. * If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat? * Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students! * It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. * Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from! * Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal ! * Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. * Give me ambiguity or give me something else. * I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself. * Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink. * People say I have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem! * Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself. * We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. * Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. * He/She who laughs last thinks slowest. * A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. * Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. * Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. * Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. * Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. * Beam me up Scotty, there are no virgins left. * Beam me up Scotty, this planet sucks! * Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. * Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. * i souport publik edekasion * Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. * 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. * Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? * Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? * Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock. * 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. * I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles. * I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. * Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. * I (heart) your wife/daughter/mother * I Brake for Hookers * Support Mental Health or I will KILL YOU! |
||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||