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| Here are some words of wisdom to help you through life.... Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes. ========== If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone. ========== If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason. ========== To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks." ========== If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did." ========== To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other. ========== I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas. ========== Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and so is mankind. ========== It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. ========== If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. ========== As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way. ========== I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. ========== Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door. ========== Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. ========== If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought we won!" ========== I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money." ========== I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo! I'd have all my money back. |
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