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Title  Language Date Type Topic
Courtroom transcript  English 1998-08-25 Jokes
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CLERK:    Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
WITNESS:  I swear by Almighty God.
CLERK:    That the evidence that I give...
WITNESS:  That's right.
CLERK:    Repeat it.
WITNESS:  Repeat it.
CLERK:    No!  Repeat what I said.
WITNESS:  What you said when?
CLERK:    That the evidence that I give...
WITNESS:  That the evidence that I give.
CLERK:    Shall be the truth and...
WITNESS:  It will, and nothing but the truth!
CLERK:    Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS:  I'm not a scholar, you know.
CLERK:    We can appreciate that.  Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS:  Shall be the truth and.
CLERK:    Say: "Nothing...".
WITNESS:  Okay.  (Witness remains silent.)
CLERK:    No!  Don't say nothing.  Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:  Yes.
CLERK:    Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth...?"
WITNESS:  Yes.
CLERK:    Well?  Do so.
WITNESS:  You're confusing me.
CLERK:    Just say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:  Is that all?
CLERK:    Yes.
WITNESS:  Okay.  I understand.
CLERK:    Then say it.
WITNESS:  What?
CLERK:    "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:  But I do!  That's just it.
CLERK:    You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS:  I WILL say nothing but the truth!
CLERK:    Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing," "But," "The" "Truth."
WITNESS:  What?  You mean, like, now?
CLERK:    Yes!  Now.  Please.  Just say those four words.
WITNESS:  "Nothing.  But.  The.  Truth."
CLERK:    Thank you.
WITNESS:  I'm just not a scholar you know...
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